In a viral TikTok video, a woman records a conversation she overhears between two men about their dating tricks. A man remarks that he doesn’t take women out to dinner, instead having coffee with them.
The video features TikToker Erin (@erinstagram) filming herself overhearing the conversation. The caption reads, “I listen to the guys next to me discuss dating strategies for 30 minutes.”
One of the men says he prefers to take women for coffee rather than dinner because it’s less of a commitment.
“Instead of taking a girl out to dinner, you know it’s going to be expensive,” he says in the video. “I just started making coffee and that’s like a $5 commitment for 15 minutes, you know? And I can drink faster, you know?”
The other man then agrees.
@erinstagram Listening to the guys next to me discuss dating strategies for 30 minutes #messytiktok #listen #datingadvice #nosy ♬ Original sound – Erin @ Hits Don’t Lie
Erin’s video has been viewed over 1.7 million times as of Sunday. A conversation ignited in the comments section, and viewers agreed that a coffee date is a great way to meet someone for the first time, especially if you don’t know them well or don’t trust them yet.
“When I was dating I would often go out for coffee to see if I really wanted to go out on a date. Short engagement made easy,” one person wrote.
“I mean — I don’t see anything wrong with a quick coffee together for the first time, if there’s no connection it’s a 0 loss,” agreed another.
However, many viewers urged Erin to share the rest of the video. Erin adds in a follow-up that she agrees coffee is a safe first date, but shares the reason she started recording. The TikToker says the man listed several minimum requirements that must be met during the coffee date.
“He said the bare minimum for a woman right now for him is that she has her own apartment and her own car,” says Erin. “And she must have good credit.”
She then adds a clip of the man explaining why a potential partner needs to have good credit.
“Well, the reason I say credit is because God knows my credit isn’t good,” the man elaborates. “If I’m going to do anything, it’s like she has to have…decent credit.”
@erinstagram In response to @scorpstinghbh is that the voice of the same guy from part one who only takes girls to coffee dates to save money? Or another guy? #datingadvice #messytiktok #listen ♬ Original sound – Erin @ Hits Don’t Lie
He then claims that the only way he bought a house was through his wife’s credit rating. “Uh, my wife did it,” he says, noting that his wife bought the house, not him.
However, this led to some confusion regarding the man’s relationship status in the comments.
“Wait. His wife bought a house? but does he still go on coffee dates with other women?” asked one person.
“Wait, the guy who says his wife got him the house is the same guy who says he only takes girls to coffee dates? Like he’s married but still together?” a second questioned.
Others accused the man of wanting the woman to take care of him.
“So he wants women to take care of him…he wants a mama,” one person commented.
“So does he want a mother?” a second agreed.
“He doesn’t want to be a provider that he wants to take care of, basically it doesn’t matter if he has nothing to offer but the woman,” said a third.
The Daily Dot reached out to Erin via TikTok comment.
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*Initial publication: July 17, 2022 at 9:18 am CDT
Melody Heald is a culture writer. Her work can be found in Glitter Magazine, BUST Magazine and more.
https://www.dailydot.com/irl/man-brags-coffee-dates-not-dinner/ Woman picks up man who boasts he doesn’t take dinner dates with him