The way you tell your kids what makes them naughtier, from smacking their lips to screaming and shaming them

Keeping tiny horrors at bay is a task and a half, especially if you’re particularly free-thinking and persistent.

All parents want to please their children, and blaming them is an unfortunate but necessary part of parenting.

Some disciplining techniques can actually make your children's behavior worse


Some disciplining techniques can actually make your children’s behavior worseCredit: Alamy

However, there are some practices that are more fruitful than others when it comes to keeping children on the right path.

Did you know that some disciplining methods actually make your children’s behavior worse? Here’s what to avoid…


There isn’t a single parent out there who can honestly say they’ve never been sidelined by their kids and responded with a little yelling.

But doing it all the time doesn’t help their behavior.

According to experts at VeryWellFamily, this actually means kids are starting to “turn off” their parents, meaning they’re less likely to do what they’re told.

Children get used to screaming very quickly, so it loses its sting and they carry on as they please anyway.


If you’re constantly telling your children what to do or reminding them what to do, you’re sending the message that they don’t have to take responsibility for those things.

If children think they don’t have to try hard to remember something because their parents keep telling them, then they don’t bother.

constant threats

If you have a list of threats related to your kids’ pudding/screen time/cheap money, they’ll see very quickly that you don’t mean business.

They will quickly learn that regardless of their behavior, you will not take these things away.

Another tactic warned against is threatening to “call the police” on your children.

If you’re going to make a treat, it has to be something you intend to pull off.

Consistent parenting is the way to make the message stick and improve your children’s behavior.

They are embarrassed

You should never impose a punishment designed to shame your child into better behavior.

This is not helpful to them and could have longer-term effects on their mental health and your relationship with them.

Shameful punishments are things like carrying a shield describing their similar behavior.

But these tactics are more likely to anger the child and cause them to behave much worse.

Consequences that are unrelated

It can confuse children when the consequences of their actions have nothing to do with the action itself.

For example, if a child doesn’t share and has to write “I need to share” 100 times, their behavior won’t change.

This would not teach them anything about solving problems and sharing them more appropriately with their peers.

A logical consequence is a far stronger message.


While some people still think this is the best way to keep kids engaged, the truth is that your models aggression will be met.

If they hit their siblings and you hit them in return, it’s a confusing message that you’re okay with hitting, but they’re not.

Studies have shown that children who are hit are more likely to be aggressive.

Punishments designed to shame your child can lead to worse behavior


Punishments designed to shame your child can lead to worse behaviorCredit: Alamy
Nanny raises baby for nine months after surrogate parents are unable to fly to pick up Tot due to Covid The way you tell your kids what makes them naughtier, from smacking their lips to screaming and shaming them

Jessica MacLeish

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