ROOMING with someone you don’t know is always a problem.
We’ve all heard the horror stories of college roommates who became enemies thanks to one’s messy habits or the other’s non-stop partying.
Who you choose as a roommate will make all the difference in how you feel on a day-to-day basis, because your home is meant to be your safe haven.
One woman wrote for USA Today’s advice column that she found herself in a very awkward position when she found out her current boyfriend had previously slept with a future roommate.
“I’m 21 and I signed a lease with four of my friends on a six-bedroom house in my college town,” she began.
The foursome put up an ad on Facebook hoping to find some regular people to move in with them.
A young woman asked about the empty room, and after letting her walk around, the group of friends decided they really liked her and wanted her to move in.
“She signed the lease yesterday and put down a deposit.
“Later that night I told my boyfriend we signed someone and he asked who, so I showed him a picture of her. He immediately fell silent and said, ‘Yes, I know her.'”
Then things took a strange turn.
“I asked him how, and he admitted they had a drunk one-night stand almost three years ago in his freshman year.”
The woman was shocked and couldn’t bear the thought of living in a room right next to another woman who had slept with her boyfriend.
“Even though it was just a one night stand, I don’t think I would be able to walk around the house comfortably or look at my boyfriend and her like I would have.
“Not to mention they would probably be uncomfortable as well since my boyfriend would be over a lot.”
The woman said her landlord is very understanding and would therefore be happy to terminate the other woman’s contract as long as the girls find a new replacement.
However, the woman’s friends were not enthusiastic about the idea and told her that it would be wrong to ask the woman to find a new place to live.
“I should mention that she and I look incredibly alike. By that I mean same height, build, hair and ethnicity.
“My friends even commented that we could almost pass as twins, which makes it worse.”
Although she felt petty about asking the woman to make the change, she said she would rather have a comfortable environment for herself than take in a stranger.
“And there’s a lot of apartments in the area, so there’s still plenty of time for her to look for another apartment.”
When asked for advice, the columnist replied:
“I’m going back and forth on your topic a bit, as it’s quite a predicament, and one of those ‘What are the odds?’ problems.”
She agreed with the woman that everyone should be comfortable in their own home, but added that she didn’t see fit to change everyone’s plans and force them to end their lease just because of a past event.
“Finding good roommates can be difficult, and it could put you both in even worse life situations (or not finding a replacement at all),” the columnist added.
Since the connection happened years ago and never led to anything, she questioned the woman’s logic.
“While the life situation isn’t ideal, if you’re against it because you don’t trust him and her in a common area, I would work on building trust and security in your relationship.
“While it may not be appropriate to ask her to terminate her lease, I think you should talk about it to clear the air.”
The advisor added that the new roommate likely has no idea what’s going on behind the scenes, so the woman shouldn’t confront her accusatively.
“You can talk about how uncomfortable you are about their past together and say that you want to set some healthy boundaries so you can all lead healthy lives.”
She added that because the boyfriend isn’t paying rent, the new roommate’s needs should take precedence over his.
“If it’s possible to swap a few rooms so you don’t share a wall, that might also help make things less weird for both of you.
“Even though your roommate relationship starts out a bit awkward, it could turn into a great friendship.”
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https://www.the-sun.com/lifestyle/5305445/renter-reveals-awkward-reason-kicking-roommate-out-divides-opinion/ The tenant reveals an uncomfortable reason why she’s kicking out her roommate, and she’s completely divided