Proud Boy’s rules regulate masturbation and ban fedoras

Several Proud Boys, including longtime leader Enrique Tarrio, are currently on trial for their alleged role in the Capitol riots. Both face years in prison on seditious conspiracy and other charges. You have pleaded not guilty.

The case against her is serious, but Monday’s trial offered a moment of frivolity thanks to a piece of evidence: a Proud Boys rule book.

The undated rulebook, reportedly confiscated from the home of defendant Dominic Pezzola, describes the far-right group’s philosophy and includes details on what to wear, how to hold meetings and when to masturbate. Yes, masturbate.

Headed “No Jerk Off,” the rules dictate that Proud Boys are only allowed to ejaculate alone once every 30 days. They are allowed to masturbate more often as long as they are within three feet of a woman who has consented to the emission and is not a prostitute.

You are warned that phone or video sex is not a suitable substitute.

“Men separated from their wives for long periods of time [have] asked for video conferencing to circumvent the one-yard rule,” the rules read. “That is not allowed.”

The document states that the “no jerking off” rule “is our religion and our Pope is the religion’s founder, Dante Nero.” Nero is a comedian and relationships guru unaffiliated with the group.

Few details are left to chance – even the clothing. Fedoras are prohibited and flip flops and cargo shorts are strongly discouraged.

Only one thing is missing from the document: the secret handshake. This is apparently just because they couldn’t get it down on paper.

“Of course, the secret handshake cannot be printed out here,” it says.

The document also includes a meeting script. The script includes a reading from The Death of the West by Pat Buchanan.

At the end of Buchanan’s screed on slavery, which describes the “Western Man” as the “Only Hero,” members say “uhuru!” and toast entrepreneurs, housewives, free speech, guns, and veterans.

The itinerary carries a message for their enemies, who are described as “parasites both on the streets and in the White House” and “invaders intent on sabotaging our culture.” To them the Proud Boys say, “Bring it on!”

The document also addresses the group’s initiation rites, such as the previously reported and highly amusing rite of being beaten by five other members until one can name five breakfast cereals.

When the spanking is over, the newly minted second-degree Proud Boy is hugged by the member who counted his cereal, and everyone says “Proud of your boy” several times. They use this phrase almost as often as they say “uhuru,” a Swahili term for “freedom” that the group uses as a sort of rallying cry.

Prosecutors trying to prove that members of the group conspired to overthrow the government during the Capitol riots are likely to draw particular attention to a provision described by Gavin McInnes in his “10 Ways to Save America.”

“Turn off the government,” reads the final bullet point, “We have no respect for institutions that rob us of our hard-earned wages…. We may not be anarchists, but we always want government to be scaled down to the bare minimum.”


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*Initial publication: January 23, 2023 13:17 CST

Claire Goforth

Claire Goforth is a staff writer at the Daily Dot and covers all topics related to politics and technology with a focus on far right and conspiracy theories.

Claire Goforth Proud Boy’s rules regulate masturbation and ban fedoras

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