Plowman Poet tricks Google

“My brother in Scotland invited some German exchange students to a local Burns Night,” writes Pauline McGinley of Drummoyne. “He did his best to explain what was going on while reciting Robert Burns’ eternal poem in celebration of haggis. Then one of the students used Google (C8) to translate from Scots to German and then back to English. “Great Chief of the Puddin Race” therefore became the “Mighty Leader of the Sausage People”!”

Merran Loewenthal from Vienna reports that she and her Austrian husband “had great fun inventing a suitable phrase in German (C8) – adjective and compound – for Larry Hopgood: Vurgent medical appointment healing means exactly what he wanted: healing pending doctor’s appointment.” The German dictionary wait!

“Bill Barr suggests Trump could soon become a toast,” notes Noosa Heads (Qld)’s Charles Haran. “You mean he’s just sourdough at the moment?”

Clovelly’s Graham Russell wonders “if the media could have a day without Trump.” Without that comment, of course.” And the above.

“No discussion of smart toilets (C8) bypasses Japan,” says Michael Ward of Mosman. “The last time we traveled there we experienced toilets with automatically raised lids, front and rear wash systems with temperature controls, heated seats, remote controls and a ‘white noisemaker’ that drowned out other sounds. It’s worth traveling just to use the toilets.” Gara Baldwin from Maroubra agrees: “I’ve just returned from a vacation in Japan and I definitely miss those heated toilet seats on these cold mornings!”

“I’m surprised to hear there’s a lighted toilet seat,” says Milsons Point’s Edward Loong. “I had to get to the bottom of it and came up with this explanation: ‘When this toilet seat ‘hears’ you entering the bathroom, the blue LEDs will illuminate and guide you safely with no bright light. They turn off after 30 seconds – just clap to turn them back on.” Just 30 seconds? What if it’s a number two? Worse still, if the batteries die, there can be loud clapping late at night. Maybe it’s best if you think about buying it.”

“I recently met a local musician and asked him if he was doing any gigs,” says Tony DeGiovanni of Bawley Point. “Yes, one in Milton on July 14th. ‘Bastille Day,’ I said. He then said his eldest daughter was born on July 14 and was delivered by a Doctor French. Very authentic. This column 8.”

Column8@smh.com.au

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