Family time can be a lot.
Each preoccupies the other, boundaries are ignored, and we often leave these gatherings feeling exhausted.
A woman named Chrissy Horton, known on TikTok as @hortonlane, is known for her mom tips and pregnancy advice.
A question she often gets is, “I just had a baby and my mother-in-law has no respect for my boundaries. What can I do?”
Your answer is always the same.
“When it comes to setting boundaries for your in-laws, it’s up to your spouse to do it, not you.”
Chrissy said that you don’t have to be the bad guy in this situation.
“This is her family, and if the family is already having problems with you, it will only cause more problems.
“Your spouse needs to be the one who protects you and stands up for you.”
It also shows that you two are united in your thinking – you are a team.
“That’s your limit too. Not just yours.”
The problem, however, is that sometimes you and your partner disagree.
He or she may think you’re overreacting or reading too much into things and causing unnecessary problems.
Chrissy said it’s important to “get on the same page.”
“I don’t know how you do it. Communicate, share why you think that way. And once you’re on the same page, they need to tell their family.”
According to the expert, grandparents too often have a feeling of entitlement towards “their” grandchild.
“No no no. This is Mom’s baby. Mom went through so much to have this baby. This baby was a part of her and this baby will always be a part of her.”
For any in-laws who feel like your daughter-in-law has too many rules when it comes to their newborn, Chrissy has some words of wisdom in parting:
“Maybe, just maybe, if you tried to respect them as a person and not as an incubator for your grandchild, they wouldn’t feel the need to have all those boundaries.”
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https://www.the-sun.com/lifestyle/5385178/mother-in-law-overstepping-mark-when-had-baby-rules/ My mother-in-law overshot the mark after my baby was born – how I made sure she obeyed my rules