Lifestyle

I’ve been cheating on my wife our entire marriage, I’m jealous of the attention she gives to the kids and it stops making sex boring

According to a recent survey, most love rats have three affairs for up to four years before getting caught.

Here, a 40-year-old father of three, who goes by the online alias Dark Horse, reveals he was unfaithful ENTIRELY his 10-year marriage. . . but refuses to feel guilty.

According to a recent survey, most love rats have three affairs for up to four years before getting caught

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According to a recent survey, most love rats have three affairs for up to four years before getting caughtPhoto credit: Getty
Ruth Wilson and Dominic West star in the hit TV series The Affair, which is about extramarital affairs

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Ruth Wilson and Dominic West star in the hit TV series The Affair, which is about extramarital affairsCredit: Alamy

I LOVE my wife more than anything, but I cheat on her. . . a lot of. I’ve cheated on all the women who have come and gone before her, but I don’t feel guilty about it.

Girlfriends, side chicks, lovers – whatever you want to call them – I’ve got three on the way right now and it gives me a kick when I say it out loud. I call all my wives “Babe” including my wife to avoid confusion.

Some may argue that I am a sociopath. Others might call me a legend. But I’m neither. I’m just a normal man with a crutch, much like someone who drinks more alcohol than they should.

I’d love to tell you I have a six pack and drive a Ferrari, but on my best day I’m probably a seven out of ten.

Achieving that takes a weekly haircut and five visits to the gym per week.

I drive a Volvo that fits all three of my kids’ car seats and wear a smartwatch, not a Rolex.

I’ve been married for ten years and having had affairs for as long as I can remember has become normal. I don’t know what long-term monogamy feels like, and I don’t want to know.

You may cringe when I say that my extramarital encounters make me a better husband and father.

But if anything, my wife should thank me for seeing other women behind her back because they make me the best version of myself.

I shower her with gifts, and when she recently turned 40, I kidnapped her to a 5-star hotel. We only have sex every fortnight, twice when we have time – and if I didn’t think about my other women all the time, our lovemaking would be mediocre.

I only “play” on Mondays and Wednesdays when my wife thinks I have time to myself at the gym or I’m out with friends.

The rest of the week I’m an attentive, hands-on husband and father—unlike some men who never look up from their phones.

I take my kids to their after school activities and will drop everything at work if one of them is sick and they need me.

But I’ll admit I’m jealous of the attention my wife’s children get, and while I wouldn’t change that, I don’t have to like it.

What my wife doesn’t know can’t hurt her – and I enjoy the best of all worlds.

Cheating feels like dating and I get a high knowing I’m on someone’s mind. I love the butterflies I get in my stomach when I meet and talk to a beautiful woman.

Where can I find them?

I use apps that encourage adultery like Ashley Madison or Illicit Encounters.

Some may argue that I am a sociopath. Others might call me a legend. But I’m neither. I’m just a normal man with a crutch, much like someone who drinks more alcohol than they should.

I drink at the same bar and do pilates and salsa classes at the gym on the same day, same time, every week. No woman wants to talk to a guy they met a minute ago and once I’ve become a familiar face they drop their cover.

My motto: “Heart. Head. Bed.”

After planting the seed of who I am in someone I meet, I make my way into their heart. Once I’ve achieved that, I can usually decide whether to let her in my bed.

I am very observant. I casually tell women I like their shoes or notice they wear a different watch. I notice if they’re left- or right-handed—and if they hit their personal best on the treadmill at the gym, I appreciate that.

I don’t smile, but I mirror their actions—when they nod, I nod—and when I talk to a woman who tells me something interesting about her life, I remember it and play it back to her six months later.

Women, especially those who feel neglected in their marriage, crave attention and it’s a natural aphrodisiac when I give it.

I have a “Burner” phone in my office and as soon as I’m on a woman’s mind, I text and send flowers to say I’m thinking of her.

I know this is all wrong and I’m covering my tracks very carefully.

I never spend the night with anyone unless I’m away on business — and I keep an identical piece of clothing in my car that matches the one I left the house in, just in case it gets stained with lipstick will smell like someone else’s perfume.

Being a serial scammer is not easy. Between my affairs I have short periods of monogamy.

It’s like pregnancy: if you try too hard, it won’t happen. If you stop trying, it does.

Cheating feels like dating and I get a high knowing I’m on someone’s mind. I love the butterflies I get in my stomach when I meet and talk to a beautiful woman.

I love the thrill of hunting but I go through periods of hunting and nothing happens so I delete myself from the apps.

I do this when there’s no fresh meat and just the same old faces.

But I won’t be gone long. Attention is my drug.

That drives me and that’s why I can’t be faithful to just one woman. It frustrates me that I can’t tell friends or share photos. In order to survive in the cheating game, discretion is required.

The only person who knows is my secretary – and because I have dirt on her, my dirty secrets are safe.

I’m not picky about who I have an affair with. I love all women, whether they are young, thin and beautiful or mature, charming and elegant.

While I’ve had sex in parking lots, in my office, and in hotel rooms, I only have sex with half of the extramarital women I meet. Sex makes an encounter more emotional and can make it harder to sever connections later.

There is a pattern. My affairs usually last three months, then something breaks and I make a quick exit.

Emotions usually come into play then – and I tell every woman I meet that I will never leave my wife. I was lucky because no one ever threatened to embarrass me.

While I don’t expect pity, I end up cheating because I’m broken.

I’m way too cautious about getting caught. Guilt makes you confess. It makes you sloppy. And neither am I.

I started cheatershandbook.com as an outlet. It keeps me sane in my complicated life and is a place to discharge my thoughts. If I didn’t write I would probably go insane.

How do I sleep at night? My pillows are comfortable.

And before you judge me, ask yourself: if you could have an affair knowing no one would ever find out, would you?

  • As Claire Dunwell was told. All stats from Illicit Encounters

HOW TO KNOW IF HE IS CHILDY

RELATIONSHIP coach Kate Mansfield reveals how to catch them. . .

ASK TO USE YOUR PHONE: Don’t hack or spy on their phone, it’s far better to ask to use it or their computer and watch their reaction. If you get a resounding “no” or if they’re acting shady, they’re hiding something.

A couple, especially in a long-term relationship, should have open access to each other’s messages, otherwise where is the trust?

FOLLOW THEM TO WORK: Look for hidden clues such as B. Changes in her behavior: Has she stopped having sex? Are they less clingy? Have they started a new diet or gotten smarter? Perhaps they suddenly take a different route to work, swap their car for the train, or develop new interests and opinions.

They may misbehave, but then make up for it with unusual gifts or treats.

NOTE NEW FRIENDS: Emotional cheating often precedes actual cheating, and it could be that your partner has openly formed a new “friendship.”

They don’t hide it from you, but they keep talking about them in an endearing way. Also look out for likes on their social media posts from the same person.

KEEP A DIARY: Thorough research is required to uncover a cheat, and that means not making accusations that you can’t prove. Gather hard evidence and write it down—perhaps in a journal—before confronting them, even if that means setting up a fake social media account and baiting them with flirtatious messages to see if they respond. Check with friends to make sure they got their story right.

QUESTIONS AND QUESTIONS AGAIN: Instead of guessing or sneaking around, ask for the truth and pay attention to their body language and eye contact. If they falter or look to the side, it can be a sign that she is lying. If they flatly refuse to confirm your suspicions or try to evade a direct answer, it is a sign of gaslighting or dishonesty.

Most people hate lying, so they might try changing the subject – ask again.

A couple, especially in a long-term relationship, should have open access to each other's messages, otherwise where is the trust?

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A couple, especially in a long-term relationship, should have open access to each other’s messages, otherwise where is the trust?Photo credit: Getty

https://www.the-sun.com/lifestyle/5694547/cheated-on-wife-marriage-sex/ I’ve been cheating on my wife our entire marriage, I’m jealous of the attention she gives to the kids and it stops making sex boring

Jessica MacLeish

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