I’m a relationship expert – 8 signs the passion is gone from your relationship

Co-sleeping isn’t the only thing that can rob your love life of passion.

Relationship expert Kate Taylor shares the 8 reasons your partner is now your roommate.

Find out if your partner is now your roommate

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Find out if your partner is now your roommatePhoto credit: Shutterstock

THEY RARELY FIGHT

YOU still annoy each other, but you are no longer invested enough to actually get mad at your partner.

A 2019 study found that the top two triggers of conflict for couples were neglect (one partner feeling rejected or unloved by the other person) or possessiveness.

But once you get into a platonic marriage, none of these issues will arise between you anymore.

Because . . . meh.

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SLEEP SEPARATELY

If you simply sleep better in separate beds, this habit could be healthy for your relationship

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If you simply sleep better in separate beds, this habit could be healthy for your relationshipPhoto credit: Shutterstock

IT started out as a necessity (perhaps due to kids, snoring, illness, shift work) but now it’s turning the guest room into a man cave.

If you simply sleep better in separate beds, this habit could be healthy for your relationship.

A 2010 study found that a good night’s sleep makes couples happier together the next day.

But if you’re doing it to avoid each other, that’s a bad sign.

YOU HARDLY HAVE SEX

ACCORDING to YouGov figures, the average British couple aged 40+ has sex once a week. (Younger couples average twice a week.)

If you fall below that average, you’re entering roommate territory.

Another sign is that when you do eventually have sex, it will be purely mechanical, with no talking, flirting, loving pillow talk, eye contact, or afterglow.

YOU EAT SEPARATELY

Research from 2019 found that the happiest couples ate their meals together. . . but also the unluckiest

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Research from 2019 found that the happiest couples ate their meals together. . . but also the unluckiestPhoto credit: Shutterstock

IS dining with your partner a sign of happiness? Not exactly.

Research from 2019 found that the happiest couples ate their meals together. . . but also the unluckiest.

The couples who avoided eating together were in the middle of the scale, being “moderately unhappy”.

So if you’re avoiding your partner at breakfast and dinner, it could be a sign that you’re just going along with it.

NONE OF YOU EVER BECOME JEALOUS

While extreme jealousy is unhealthy and harmful, most couples will occasionally see the green monster.

So is it a bad sign if you never get jealous? Yes.

The root of jealousy is the fear of losing someone.

Therefore, the total lack of jealousy could show that you don’t care if your partner stays or goes.

DON’T CARE ABOUT APPEARANCE ANYMORE

A study in the Journal Of Experimental Psychology found that women are more likely to wear dark, familiar, baggy clothing when they're feeling depressed

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A study in the Journal Of Experimental Psychology found that women are more likely to wear dark, familiar, baggy clothing when they’re feeling depressedPhoto credit: Getty

THAT not only signals that you’ve stopped trying to impress each other. Especially for women, pulling down can show that you’re feeling down.

A study in the Journal Of Experimental Psychology found that women are more likely to wear dark, familiar, baggy clothing when feeling depressed and are six times more likely to wear a dress when feeling happy.

YOU NEVER GO TO BED AT THE SAME TIME

IF your man stays up later than you, science says it’s not his fault.

Men get a small spurt of testosterone late at night that often makes them watch TV or play video games until the wee hours.

But if you both make an effort never to go out into the hay together – or withdraw to different rooms every evening – you are consciously creating space.

You go to the bathroom with the door open

If you regularly fan yourself and say,

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If you regularly fan yourself and say, “I’d give ten minutes for that,” we can be sure the passion has evaporatedPhoto credit: Shutterstock

. . . AND you burp or fart in front of each other.

You let go – in the truest sense of the word.

Of course, maintaining that certain air of mystery in front of a long-term partner might not be sustainable.

But if you keep fanning yourself and saying, “I’d give ten minutes for that,” we can bet the passion has evaporated.

TAKE THE QUIZ NOW

Find out if you are friends or lovers

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Find out if you are friends or loversPhoto credit: Shutterstock

1. You haven’t seen your partner all day and he’s on his way home. Which of these texts are you most likely to send them?

a) Slightly muddy, like, “I can’t wait to see you.”

b) Something funny, such as B. an inside joke.

c) Something practical like, “We need bread.”

2. The liveliest conversations between the two of you happen when:

a) They stay up late and share a bottle of wine.

b) You are on vacation or traveling.

c) One of you sits in front of the TV while the other watches.

3. You will receive exciting news. when do you tell your partner

a) Immediately.

b) After telling your mother or your best friend.

c) When there is a stillness that needs to be filled at the dinner table.

4. Which category does your nightwear fall into?

a) Top and racy.

b) Athletic or short.

c) Comfortable and cozy.

5. This year you celebrated Valentine’s Day like this:

a) Having a great meal together and then enjoying great sex.

b) Send each other funny cards.

c) Binge-watching your favorite TV show alone and in peace while your partner does their own thing.

6. The last thing you say before bed is usually:

a) “You were amazing.”

b) “See you soon.”

c) Indecipherable because of snoring strips/face mask/eye mask/face cream. . .

How did you score?

MOST A) Soulmates: Passionate and sensual, they try to outdo each other in romance. It’s very sexy, but remember that you also need a solid base of friendship.

You can’t bask in the afterglow forever, so try to find things you enjoy doing together that don’t involve massage oil. In the long run, the happiest couples share hopes, dreams, and interests, not just beds.

MOST B) Best buddies: Yes, you two get along great, but when was the last time you made out until your heart pounded? Partnerships can’t just be banter or you run the risk of someone else turning your head.

Try to take small steps towards passion. TV? To cuddle up. On a walk? Hold hands. In the car? Play Your Song. Take turns organizing weekly hookups with bonus points to heat things up.

MOST C) Roommate: You’re not even excited enough to break up. They simply rub along and deftly dodge anything that might spark an argument, deep conversation, or sex.

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They lead separate lives in the same house and only talk about the kids, bills, or the nearest grocery store.

Wake up! You only have one life – live it with passion. Either clear the air and have some make-up sex, or admit it’s over and move on.

https://www.the-sun.com/lifestyle/5308018/relationship-expert-partner-housemate/ I’m a relationship expert – 8 signs the passion is gone from your relationship

Jessica MacLeish

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