Gary Lineker proved that there are no white people

Gary Lineker

It’s not what people see on your papers. It’s what people see on your face (Image: Chris Brunskill/Fantasista/Getty Images)

It’s hard to imagine an ideal more irrational and illogical than whiteness.

It’s a concept as ridiculously contrived as the talking wolf in Little Red Riding Hood, and yet this hilarious genetic lottery has become a purity test with deadly consequences.

With all of the above – along with nuclear weapons and compound interest – whiteness is one of the most powerful ideas ever conceived by man.

As a young, gifted footballer with darker skin and a wider nose than one would expect – or accept – Gary Lineker had to learn this the hard way.

To the amazement (and dismay) of many, Lineker recently revealed that he’s been subjected to racial abuse despite being “as English as they come.”

He told the High Performance podcast: “I was this geeky little dark-skinned kid and I got pretty racially abused – although I’m not [non-white], I’m as English as they come – all the time. Even in professional football, I’ve had that a couple of times.”

Historically, of course, being as “English as they come” means winning the white man’s EuroMillions.

The very last thing you would expect is that you too would be on the receiving end of abuse normally reserved for those who do not qualify as White.

This startling racism—the failure to show the necessary purity of whiteness to the outside world—is more common than meets the eye.

Take the case of Tabatha Stirling, for example.

Last year it emerged that Stirling – a book publisher later exposed as a white nationalist – had a leaked conference call with the fascist group Patriotic Alternative.

On the call, Stirling could be heard tearfully defending her “integrity” as a white person and as a white nationalist.

In a moment of extreme anti-Semitism, she at one point deflects fascist suspicions that she is Jewish and therefore not white (or not white enough) for a white nationalist movement.

She went to extreme lengths to deny being Jewish and to prove her whiteness. At one point she offered what she called a “document of ancestry” proving she was “100% European”.

Unlike Stirling, Gary Lineker never attempted to become a member of a white nationalist sect.

He tried to be a professional soccer player. But the ‘purity requirements’ of full breed acceptance remain in place in a space as mainstream and sought after as it is in Britain.

White is fidgety. In the past, the Irish and Italians (especially the Sicilians) – like the blacks – were considered racially inferior to the “whites”.

Historically, of course, winning the EuroMillions of Whiteness means being as white as possible

Anyone who’s seen the 1993 film, True Romance, might remember the Moorish history-infused phrase: “Sicilians were brought up by n*****s”.

Before they became white, Italians were often victims of treatments normally reserved for blacks.

Case in point: What is often referred to as “the greatest lynching in US history” was committed in New Orleans in 1891 against 11 Italian Americans.

A year later, the US government paid $25,000 in reparations to the victims’ families. The mayor of New Orleans formally apologized for the atrocities in 2019.

Again, this shows that being just a little different from the norm, just a little darker, a little tanned (like Gary Lineker) was more than enough for Italians to be different.

Back to Blighty. If anyone had a good idea for a bookstore, it’s a really gentle man named Anthony Ekundayo Lennon.

Anthony and his brother were born to two white Irish parents, both of whom would have attained the qualifying threshold of whiteness at the time.

Gary Lineker

Gary Lineker did us all a huge favor (Image: David Cannon/Allsport/Getty Images)

One problem: Anthony Ekundayo Lennon and his brother both looked visibly black. They looked like multiracial (or fair-skinned) black children with black textured hair, despite having “white” parents.

This finest biology oddity prompted a social backlash of the worst possible racism. Racism that shaped Anthony’s life. For example, his own school janitor called him “n****r” and threatened to attack him with a dog.

That racism was maliciously fueled again when he applied for funding for an ethnic minority leadership course and was dubbed British Rachael Dolezal — a white American (one who is on the verge of being white) who pretended to be black.

Like Gary Lineker, Anthony Ekundayo Lennon was white on paper. However, being white is not rational.

It’s not what people see on your papers. It’s what people see on your face.

By revealing this, Gary Lineker has done us all and our shared bright, beautiful and diverse future a great favor.

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MORE: Gary Lineker claims he suffered racial abuse because he had ‘dark skin’.

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General Sports Gary Lineker proved that there are no white people

Nate Jones

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