Don’t be fooled by science

Sometimes a moment simply presents itself. “A few years ago, my wife’s American cousin Rod, who works for NASA, came to visit us,” recalls Mal Kirkpatrick of Coombabah. “He tried to open a bottle of wine with my top-of-the-line corkscrew. No one has ever prepared me better for a one-liner: ‘C’mon Rod… that’s not rocket science (C8)’.”

“I learned rocket science in elementary school,” says Lane Cove’s Colin Taylor-Evans. “Put rocket in empty coke bottle, light match, light blue sticky paper, step back!” Dalton’s John Boddington took part in a similar study group, adding: “The only science involved was remembering not to tip over to the bottom check to see if everything is ok.”

“Where does the word hamburger come from?” asks Clovelly’s Graham Russell. “And is there really ham in the burgers we buy?”

Classifications for films (C8) did not begin in Australia until 1970, but Blaxland’s Marjie Williamson says that “Chalkboard Jungle was age restricted in 1955 when two friends and I stumbled onto borrowed heels into Sydney’s St James Theater to see it. Was that what you meant Rock around the clock would lead us into a life of depravity?”

“When I’m making toast like this morning, I have to get the bread from the bottom drawer and the knife from the top drawer,” explains John Cook of Forde (ACT). “So I opened the middle drawer. Is that a so-called ‘efficiency dividend’?”

Nick Walker of Suffolk Park is hoping the geckos Jennifer Lawrence (C8) is hearing are local. “Most here are the pale Indonesian invaders, overtaking the habitats of the darker, native ones.”

“I come from a long line of Gramma (C8) eaters,” claims Mascot’s Geoff Nilon. “Mom made a simple pie crust on hers. Where can I get gramma or seeds? My suppliers all passed. No one answers the phone for fame.”

“When we were kids, my parents’ biggest argument was about the true name of this wonderful delicacy, Gramma Pie or Rhiotarte,” says Malcolm Nicholson Katoomba. “I can’t remember who chose which, but it used to be about as hot as the pastries.”

“Is an artesian drill (C8) just a regular drill with added crafting skills?” asks Oatley’s John Christie.

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Name, suburb and telephone during the day Don’t be fooled by science

Joel McCord

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