Arbeiter says boss gave ‘poisonous’ advice on answering questions

A woman on TikTok says her boss told her to generally confuse the other person if she doesn’t know the answer to a question she asked. For her, this advice was poisonous.

TikTok user Sundas (@sundaskhalidd) shared the story, stitching another viral TikToker asking, “What’s the most toxic thing an executive at your company has ever said to you?”

In Sundas’ video, she says she asked her data engineering manager at her last job how to answer questions when she didn’t know the answer. She says she was new to the job at the time, but doesn’t say which company she worked for.

“He responded by saying if you don’t know the answer, answer in a way that confuses the other person,” says Sundas. “And I thought he was joking, but he wasn’t.”

After this incident, Sundas realized that her manager often followed his own advice. She says she can “see through” him in work meetings afterwards. When he answered questions, he confused people and made them wonder why they asked their questions in the first place.

Sundas says her manager got away with it too. People thought he was “so smart,” she says.

The manager’s advice drew mixed reactions from viewers. Some said the manager’s advice wasn’t toxic.

@sundaskhalidd #stitch with @coach2elevate I’m not sure if this is toxic or funny? That was Data Engineering Manager #dataengineer #datatok #toxicmanager ♬ Original sound – Sundas

“It’s not poisonous, it’s awesome!!!” commented a viewer.

“Not toxic at all. As you get more experience you will understand,” commented another.

Another wrote: “How is that toxic? That’s how you survive on the job.”

In response to this comment, Sundas wrote: “Because I realized that every time I went to him with a question he would mute me [his] Answers.”

Some users said the manager’s advice is typical manager behavior.

“I used to work with someone like that. I saw through it, but not my colleagues. I’m used to playing chess and it’s a strategy we were taught,” said one user.

“Basically every manager. They became managers because they are great at selling BS,” said a second user.

A third wrote: “That’s sadly true… I see MANY people in high positions behaving like this. I reply, ‘We digress, get back to the point.’”

The Daily Dot reached out to the creator via a TikTok comment.


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*Initial publication: October 8, 2022 at 10:02 am CDT

Cecilia Lenzen

Cecilia Lenzen is a freelance reporter for the Daily Dot.

Cecilia Lenzen Arbeiter says boss gave ‘poisonous’ advice on answering questions

Jaclyn Diaz

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