5 Questions Your Partner Can Avoid When They’re Cheating, Therapists Say

Open communication is important in any healthy relationship. Having ongoing conversations is a “great way to connect emotionally with your partner,” Callisto AdamsPhD, a certified dating and relationship professional, narrates best life. On the other hand, the things you ask your partner can also show if this open communication you are having with them is as honest as it seems.

Cheating involves a lot of hiding from a significant other, and confronting certain things head on makes it harder to keep the deception going. An unfaithful partner often avoids certain questions to try to hide their infidelity — but sometimes that avoidance is the red flag of all. We consulted therapists and other relationship professionals to find out what questions your partner will try not to answer when they’re cheating. Read on to find out what you might want to ask.

READ THIS NEXT: 6 Warning Signs Spelling Out Cheating, Therapists Warn.


Sure, many of us have things on our phones that other people don’t necessarily want to see — whether it’s weird searches in our web history or embarrassing photos in our camera roll. But our loved ones are usually well aware of our quirks. So if your partner is distracting when you ask to use their phone, there could be something else at play.

Rabbi Shlomo ZlatkinLCPC, a certified relationship therapist and founder of The Marriage Restoration Project, says a cheating partner is likely to be “secret about their [significant other] see her phone.”

As Claire Graysona psychologist and co-founder of Personality Max, explains best life, this will likely make them avoid asking questions like “Can I use your phone?” This is especially true if your request is calling or texting someone.

Man opens the door to his house with his steel key.

We all lost track of time and got home later than planned without anything suspicious happening. But even someone who doesn’t suspect their significant other of cheating will feel a little nervous if their partner is late and they don’t know where they are, Slatkin says. When that happens, a cheating partner might avoid answering natural questions like, “What kept you out so long?”

If your partner has suddenly started “repeatedly coming home late without a reasonable explanation,” according to Slatkin, that can be a big warning sign that he’s cheating on you. “It’s not easy to hide infidelity,” he explains. “Combined with lying and mysterious behavior, there is usually a sudden change in the way one partner behaves toward the other, which can be an indicator that something is fishy.”

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frustrated couple

At the same time, a cheating partner might also start asking she more questions about where you are going or how long you will be going somewhere. When they suddenly question the details of your day, “it’s usually because they want to know your schedule so they can plan when to meet their affair partner.” Caroline MaddenPhD, a licensed marriage and family therapist, narrates best life.

According to Adams, it’s noticeable when your significant other becomes very curious and aware of your plans for the weekend or other times you’re apart. “All of a sudden, they really care when exactly you go out or what day you plan to go on a trip,” she warns.

To find out if this new curiosity is just going through their day or is a sign of cheating, ask yourself why they want to know specific details about your plans. “Ask them questions about why they’re suddenly interested in things they weren’t paying attention to before,” she says Joseph Puglisi, a relationship expert and founder of Dating Iconic. If they avoid responding or become defensive, that’s a bad sign.

Couple fight in bedroom

While it may seem strange, someone who is cheating on their significant other might start bringing up the topic of infidelity more often. If your partner randomly brings up the subject of cheating, it could be a sign that he has cheated on you, or is at least thinking about it Joni OgelLCSW, a board-certified sex addiction therapist and CEO of The Heights Treatment.

“If they seem genuinely interested in hearing your thoughts on the subject, this could be a way to gauge your reaction to see if there would be any consequences,” she explains.

If they “keep bringing up the topic or really insist on talking about it,” Ogle says, you should ask them why they want to talk about it. “Pay close attention to how they act and what they say, as it may be an indication that they are cheating or contemplating it,” she advises. “They may show some telltale signs of cheating, like avoidance, nervousness, or defensiveness.”

READ NEXT: 5 signs your partner doesn’t trust you, according to therapists.

couple arguing the last word

When it comes down to it, the most direct question can give you the answer you’re looking for. “Cheaters can often be distracting and lie, but you can ask your partner directly if they’re cheating on you,” he says Jan Langa relationship expert and published author at People Looker.

Your significant other may choose to be honest with you about cheating when asked directly, but even if they avoid answering the question, it could still give you a clue that they are being unfaithful. “Be honest and communicate your concerns with your partner.” Robin Suthers, a relationship expert at Galtelligence.com, advises. “Although they may not be truthful in their answers, signals like body language, words, eye contact, and fidgeting can give you more information.”

https://bestlifeonline.com/questions-cheating-partners-avoid-news/ 5 Questions Your Partner Can Avoid When They’re Cheating, Therapists Say

Sarah Y. Kim

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